Saturday, January 9, 2010

I have lost my appetite

Today started so beautiful, and now it's going on 12:00 am and I have not showered, I smell like puke, I have cleaned up human and k9 pee more then twice and that homemade gingerbread loaf is gone...
I have never thought of myself as an "emotional eater" but my husband gives me that head tilted "yeah right" look when I say that. I thought that everyone had a little orgasm when they bit into chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. Or began to moan when they came in the vicinity of really good stinky cheese.. am I alone in this? How about a big pot of cream-of -whatever soup on the stove on a chilly evening or fresh bread with butter melting off the crust, I get warm in my chest just typing! Those are the good emotions, what about the other emotions like fear? I cant tell you how much I consume just out of fear that I may not get a chance to finish. I get sad face when I see a kid stalking my plate. We call it "paying taxes" when you have to give a bite to the little one. The big ones just play the guilt game, "sharing is caring" I hear from my 4 year old. My mom used to tell us she was eating poison and that is why we could not have any. Her socks always smelled like chocolate too, I think she had more then one method to getting to eat what she wanted. I myself am no stranger to eating in the laundry room.
There is disappointment when the last slice of pizza is gone, and anger when I go to a restaurant knowing just what I want and they don't have it. Sometimes when I am watching a movie and the people in the movie leave the dinner table because of an argument and say "I have lost my appetite" I am left thinking what that means, is it really so bad that you cant carry that plate to the next room? I may storm out, you bet your ass at least that chicken leg is going with me!
Lets not leave out love. I show love with food! I am the happiest when I have a house full of people I care about enjoying my long days work of sweet and savory. Food for me has meaning:
mini loaves say thinking of you, cookies say welcome home, muffins are nice to meet you, anything in pyrex means I care and bag salad says give me some credit I bought it and I'm busy.
How could anyone not be an emotional eater?
So at this time I am self proclaiming, I am an emotional eater! Brownies make me smile and salad brings me joy and homemade gingerbread brought me comfort after a tough day!