Saturday, January 9, 2010

I have lost my appetite

Today started so beautiful, and now it's going on 12:00 am and I have not showered, I smell like puke, I have cleaned up human and k9 pee more then twice and that homemade gingerbread loaf is gone...
I have never thought of myself as an "emotional eater" but my husband gives me that head tilted "yeah right" look when I say that. I thought that everyone had a little orgasm when they bit into chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. Or began to moan when they came in the vicinity of really good stinky cheese.. am I alone in this? How about a big pot of cream-of -whatever soup on the stove on a chilly evening or fresh bread with butter melting off the crust, I get warm in my chest just typing! Those are the good emotions, what about the other emotions like fear? I cant tell you how much I consume just out of fear that I may not get a chance to finish. I get sad face when I see a kid stalking my plate. We call it "paying taxes" when you have to give a bite to the little one. The big ones just play the guilt game, "sharing is caring" I hear from my 4 year old. My mom used to tell us she was eating poison and that is why we could not have any. Her socks always smelled like chocolate too, I think she had more then one method to getting to eat what she wanted. I myself am no stranger to eating in the laundry room.
There is disappointment when the last slice of pizza is gone, and anger when I go to a restaurant knowing just what I want and they don't have it. Sometimes when I am watching a movie and the people in the movie leave the dinner table because of an argument and say "I have lost my appetite" I am left thinking what that means, is it really so bad that you cant carry that plate to the next room? I may storm out, you bet your ass at least that chicken leg is going with me!
Lets not leave out love. I show love with food! I am the happiest when I have a house full of people I care about enjoying my long days work of sweet and savory. Food for me has meaning:
mini loaves say thinking of you, cookies say welcome home, muffins are nice to meet you, anything in pyrex means I care and bag salad says give me some credit I bought it and I'm busy.
How could anyone not be an emotional eater?
So at this time I am self proclaiming, I am an emotional eater! Brownies make me smile and salad brings me joy and homemade gingerbread brought me comfort after a tough day!


  1. Awww. I loved sharing in the food caring! I miss you running over with something on a spoon for us to taste because you had just created it! It's your love lanugage! And I can so sympatise with you about having to share the good food with the kiddos - - it's not like they are begging for our brussel sprouts - - it's the good stuff that I don't want to share that they want!

  2. I definitely relate to this! And I also miss coming to your house for some food-love!

  3. I adore you. Some fantastic insights on how we use one of our earthly pleasures to communicate with and love one another. It's funny, here in Singapore there is a HUGE amount of pride based around food. You've never seen so much of it on every corner. It's there LOVE. I'll make you Laksa when I get back and you'll understand the meaning of comfort food. ;) oddly enough, you don't reallysee anyone that is overweight very often. There is so much walking in this place. I have 3 flights of stairs the 5 times I walk our puppy. And I must include the fact that dairy barely exists, but as the occasional food additive. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I love you and am proud of you and I enjoy your writing so very much.