Friday, April 9, 2010

Being fat has made me a better person

So guess what?.....ok time's up.... the whole challenge thing I did last post totally backfired! I had a choice to either get really upset over it and wallow for a while or I could learn from it and move on. I have moved on.

Why you ask, did it backfire? Pressure is the ultimate reason. It seemed like such a good idea at the time. But, and as usual it is a big butt, I had under estimated everything else I have going on in my life. Mommy and wifely duties took over. I needed a "time out" from the struggle to escape the jiggle, a break from the shake, a pause from the cause. A reprieve from the weight I have been putting on my shoulders, became more important then the weight I hoist onto the scale.

I have been working hard to get to a point where I feel like myself again. Along the way I am finding out that who I am right now is not so bad. In fact I can go as far as to say that being fat has made me a better person! I am not so quick to judge people by their looks. These pounds have come hand and hand with maturity. I sit at a point where I really feel like I am coming into my own. Things are leveling out. I have old friends and new, older and younger. I no longer feel like playing catch up. I have really begun to realize that life is not a beauty pageant or a popularity contest, and if it is at least I would be winning Mrs. Congeniality!

Although I still feel like I need a long explanation when shopping. Everytime I check out from Lane Bryant (plus size clothing store) they ask me if I would like to open a Lane Bryant account. This for some reason feels like an attack. The quick answer of course is "No thanks". But do you think that is what comes out of my face? Of course not.. here is the gist "Oh I don't need one because I am not fat. I mean I know that is what you see but I mean, I am not gonna be fat much longer, this is not my real body, I am just dressing this fat body till my real body, the one with the perky tits and slim thighs gets back... wings for arms are just a temperary situation, ....... not that there's anything wrong with that, yours for example, perfectly acceptable on you, I don't judge you like I used to.... see I have this plan and this blog and well.................... do you work on commission?..."