Monday, July 26, 2010

I can see clearly now!

It is 6pm and I am so ready for the day to be over. It started out alright, just the same as most mornings, with my almost 2 year old "Moe" sitting on my head to wake me up.
After a toaster waffle frenzy we were out the door to swim lessons for "Larry and Curly".
45 very wet minutes later we were home for lunch. This is when I discovered the ants! I have been engaged in a battle for my own domain with a army of sugar ants for 2 months now. When I found them in my reading corner I declared war on their queen and last friday the Orkin man came and sprayed. I should back up a little and say that I have tried everything from baby powder to cinnamon and that Mr. LbF even went out and bought a 2 gallon jug of poison with a spray nozzle on the end of a plastic coil (against my better wishes). He came in with that jug and I laughed out loud at him and said "it's only a few little ants". How naive I was back then, last month. Well when I came into the kitchen today they had had just enough time to get organized and were parading from the corner of my cabinets at the ceiling over the doorway to the cereal cub-bard. Knowing that I use my handy dandy chip clips for everything I could not for the life of me think of what they had discovered. So I got up on my step stool and peered inside, to my horror I discovered that the ants and got the better of me and taken advantage in a moment of weakness. Last night I came home tired from a trip and had put the granola from the snack bag away with out the oh so nice handy dandy clip! I retrieved my poison and took position on the stool, I put the jug on top of the fridge, put the phone I was talking on to the other ear and began firing! They did not know what had hit them, I reached up to get the very corner of the doorway and that is when I heard a thud, I looked down to the floor just in time to see the huge jug of awful poison hit the rug and the little plastic coil came flying out spraying me right in the eye. At this point I was swearing, yelling and scrambling to get off the stool and run to the bathroom. I must have hung up the phone but I cant remember. After a good 10 mins I had flushed it out till it stung from the effort and call the Orkin guy to get his fanny out here ASAP! He of course was not there and I told the nice lady who answered to make sure she wrote on the message that the ants were laughing at me. Next thing you know I have a neighbor on my doorstep making sure I can see her out both my eyes. My Mother with whom I had been talking to on the phone had alerted the Scott Valley emergency response system. So now I had to explain to someone face to face why it says just what to do in case you get it in your eye on the bottle. Before I had always read that and chuckled a little "like who is stupid enough to get it in their eye, its poison?"
So I got over the near blinding and by the afternoon a storm had rolled in. Thanks to my kids the dogs got out the front gate and a questionable looking neighbor was at my door saying the dogs were chasing his chickens! I looked out and called them. They were having way to much fun to pay me any mind and then they ran right out into the street. I had to dart out the gate yelling like a crazy lady jogging down the center of the street to stop a car from coming right at them and then something hit me in the chin! It was my breast. I was not wearing a bra of course. And am not surprised that after I got the dogs in, that same neighbor walked me home and struck up a conversation about his cock I mean rooster, and if it was to loud for me.
Then the day got really blue. Larry Curly and Moe got blue dollar store kiddy make-up on my living room carpet. Took 20mins to get only most of it out. Later a dog got ahold of a blue colored pencil. I told a kid to get it from her and did not think about it again, till I looked at my floor. It had come down with a case of blue chicken pox! Somehow a piece of the center of the pencil had adhered to the bottom of my own foot and for who knows how long I had tracked it thru my house. Want to know how many steps a mom takes in one day, come count my blue spots and times it by 24 hrs!
I went to the basement to get more carpet cleaner and noticed that outside was not the only place seeing rain today. The leak that had been "fixed" by a contractor was not to fixed anymore.
Oh I almost forgot to mention that I also gained back 3 lbs that I had lost last week.... and its after 9pm and I really did start writing this hours ago... good night!