I have been working out.. I don't mean like the way I used to, as in putting on cute matching shorts and socks and strutting my toned ass in front of who ever had the privilege to watch. I mean working out as in wearing holey lounge pants and over sized t-shirts with places I have visited on them. While sweating like a whore in church. For 6 weeks as often as I could, I have dragged my fluffy self onto the treadmill and thrust my body in an awkward forward motion till the room got blurry and my boobs got tired of hitting my chin.
Today is my birthday I had this great picture of everything I would have to show for the last 6 weeks. But the scale does not lie and my fantasy was just that, a fantasy. In conversation regarding the lack of progress, loved ones have said things that are seemingly comforting. I will now tell you my true feelings on each comment.
One loving person said "well your building muscle and muscle weighs more then fat". This is crap that skinny bitches made up to tell the rest of us while they secretly laugh.
Another one was "you have more stamina then you did when you started". I stood in the mirror naked and did not see stamina staring back at me.
Then I was told that I had made a life change and that it takes time to see the results. When you walk away from a group of people nobody says "look at that life change on the back of her".
I was also told that it takes 4 weeks to make something habit. I have been working out for 6 and there is nothing habit about it. I have to pep talk my self all the way from tying my laces to reminding myself not to just jump off the treadmill without stretching a little first. Spaghetti legs are hard enough if your talking about fettuccine but my gams are more like extra wide egg noodles. Great! Now I'm hungry...
I also got the advice I am famous for handing out "you just had a baby, it takes nine months to put it on and nine months to take it off". I can't lie, I was this exact weight when I got pregnant a year ago today. Baby weight is not the problem, at least not from this baby. I put on weight with the first 3 and am still holding tight to that. So if it took me 8 years to put that on, will it take 8 years to take it off?.. Put me out of my misery now! I told Mr. LbF if I had know after 6 weeks I would be the exact same weight I would have spent that time sitting on my very comfortable couch. Not shaking back-fat violently over and over.
So the worst part about this is that there is no way I can stop and just give up now. When I was all fired up about this fitness thing 6 long weeks ago I did the unthinkable. I signed up for a race and paid a registration fee and everything. I am as committed as I get! The race is called the Warrior Dash. It is a 5k obstacle course that involves such feats as army crawling under barbwire, trudging through 3 feet of mud and climbing over walls and old cars. At the finish line you get to jump over a pit of fire! Then when you are done you get a roasted turkey leg and a beer. I can't tell you the number of things this gal can be talked into with the promise of poultry and a cold one!
But let's get down to the real reason I would volunteer for such a tasking? And here it is......I am scared out of my mind of doing nothing. I am long over due for a quick kick in the plus size pants. The Warrior Dash is that boot! It is not just the fear of embarrassing myself that will keep me going but..... Ok I got nothing......it is totally the fear of embarrassing myself...
I needed to find something that would inspire me to get moving. My neighbor told me about the Warrior Dash and after seeing what it was all about online I was hooked!
Part of it goes even deeper for me... it is the word Warrior. I'm totally drawn to it and aspire to be just that, a Warrior. I want to be a Warrior for my children! To be the someone they think of when they hear the word! I want to be a Warrior for Christ! I want Him to put me where he can use me. I want people who don't know me to look at me and ask how it is that I seem to have it all, just so I can share my testimony of being a Warrior for Christ. I want to be a Warrior for my amazing girlfriends who love me through thick and thin and help me to laugh through the tears. I want to be a Warrior for my husband who loves on the thick while making me feel light as air. I want to be a Warrior for any Mama who has just given birth and finds her self in a dark place. Asking for help can be the hardest thing some of us will ever do. I want to be a Warrior for myself so that when I do look in the mirror all I see that needs to be done is a few touch-ups on my war paint!